Why I’d Never!

"Hmph! The nerve!"

“Hmph! The nerve!”

Ms. Somthinorranotha is quite possibly the most insufferable animal in the entire bog. She is a successful door-to-door saleswoman, the head of the PTA, an amazing cook, and by golly she will never let you forget any of that! Somthinorranotha is horribly snooty, and spends most of her time pointing out everything’s flaws and barking orders at everyone. And heaven forbid she invites herself over for lunch. She likes her egg salad with just the right amount of salt, and her chicken baked (not grilled and never fried) for exactly the right amount of time. Unfortunately, none of her friends have figured out either of these things, and as a result, must suffer one of Somthinorranotha’s many snarky comments, which are always followed by a smug grin.
She has very few friends, and even those she managed to keep find it hard to tolerate her.  She claims to be perfect, and from what everyone has seen, she almost is. She has never missed a day at work, never burns the food, and never takes more than one sample from the grocery store. This just makes everyone dislike her even more. Of course, she is not as perfect as she claims. Many have seen her trip and fall, and just as many have seen food fly out of her mouth when she laughs. Of course, Somthinorranotha denies all of these claims, and swears that she has never done anything of the sort. I guess that makes her a liar, too.

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